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Tang Corp.
Tang Corp. is a Chinese multinational retail corporation that operates a chain of super-centers, fast food restaurants, discount department stores, liquor stores, smoke shops, grocery stores, pharmacies, and electronics stores. Headquartered in Beijing, China, the company was founded by Fo-hsing Tang in 1947. TangCorp. also own the Culver City Projects and DirecTV Wrestling. TangCorp. currently have over 25,798 stores in 92 countries, operating under 104 different names. The company operates under the name TangCo. in China. As of March 3, 1969, Tang Corp. introduced the TangCo. Research Facilities that claimed to be created with the efforts to cure diseases and make technological developments that would benefit humanity. History 1947-1957 - In the Beginning In 1947, after the Communist Party of China won the Chinese Civil War, Fo-hsing Tang became a very wealthy man. Historians have hypothesized that Fo-hsing was involved in an underground betting pool with some of the wealthiest and most influential political leaders during the Chinese Civil War. This theory suggests Fo-hsing Tang made a deal with powerful occult organizations in his youth and by his personal involvement with the civil war, as sociologists refer to it, "he beat the devil at his own game". With all this new-found fortune, Mr. Tang immediately opened up the first underground TangCo. in his hometown of Beijing. The first ever TangCo. sold firearms, ammunition, accessories for hunting, alcohol, and tobacco products. Mr. Tang reportedly hired Japanese POWs (prisoners of war) that he personally captured and kept hostage within internment camps when he was a teenager during the Second Sino-Japanese War. After receiving overwhelming success in the first few years, by 1950 TangCo. illegally opened 500 more stores across ten countries- the largest black-market franchise in the world. During the 50's, political tension continued to rise after remnants of World War II still lingered in everyone's mind. Conflicts began to arise between the Soviet Union and The United States of America and in 1953, Sergei Korolyov, lead rocket engineer for the Soviet Union, sought out Fo-hsing after being instructed to develop an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM). The Soviet Union failed to produce an adequate warhead until Sergei met with Mr. Tang. Fo-hsing's reputation finally garnered Tang Corp. international recognition and consequently in August, 1953, Mr. Tang assisted the Soviet Union in launching the first ever ICBM. 1957-1966 - Mr. Soviet Due To China's restrictive laws on foreign investment, Mr. Tang began operating Tang Corp. from Moscow with permission from the Soviet government in 1957. Moscow soon opened the largest TangCo. that sold ranged weapons such as grenades, gasoline, lotions, clothing, accessories, toys, and Soviet moonshine. With improving relations between The People's Republic of China and the Soviet Union, Nikita Khrushchev hired Fo-hsing in 1964 to produce an action-figure similar to the G.I Joe that would promote communist ideology and rhetoric. Mr. Tang ordered his imprisoned Japanese employees to produce the Mr. Soviet action-figure, a communist super-hero who greatly resembled Joseph Stalin with a burly physique. The Mr. Soviet action-figure had the function to appear as if it were speaking- repeating phrases such as "don't mess with the west" and "capitalism is crapitalism", voiced by Soviet actor, Pavel Kadochnikov. The Mr. Soviet toy was marketed to the children in the Soviet Union and the action-figure began flooding into 469 of the 502 secret TangCo. locations. It wasn't long until children in the United States started showing up to schools with Mr. Soviet action-figures and these kids who were caught with the toy were all immediately expelled and their families were prosecuted under the charges of treason and being communist sympathizers. All of these families were eventually executed and the HUAC shut down 56 TangCo's discovered in America, arresting over 6,000 employees and executing every one of them. Mr. Tang would respond to the United States persecution of his employees by inventing a new action figure on December 23, 1964, Uncle Sham, a patriotic pansexual villain with the ability to generate and dispense heroin out of his anal cavity. The solar powered action-figure was the first of it's kind to be made out of 90% fortified opium and the toy was also able to speak saying Uncle Sham's catchphrase "gimme some sugar", voiced by Hollywood actor, Rock Hudson. Fo-hsing was able to find multiple American stores eager to distribute the new Uncle Sham action figure in time for Christmas and Mr. Tang vowed to release this product exclusively in the United States. Tang's plan worked perfectly. On Christmas, Uncle Sham action-figures sold out, advertised as "the toy the man doesn't want your kid to have", Uncle Sham was popular among the growing sub-culture arising in the United States and ironically became a symbol in the hippie movement during the Sexual Revolution representing their disapproval of the war and served as a comedic emblem to mock conformity. Children and parents alike loved the Uncle Sham action-figure and it's heroin-dispensing functionality. Some consumers admitted to buying at least two to three toys a week- a true collector's item. By 1965, media outlets were making several reports of an alleged "heroin epidemic" and every finger pointed to Mr. Tang. This newfound infamy didn't discourage Fo-hsing, in fact it inspired him to release a new toy, Mr. Soviet X, an updated model of the Mr. Soviet action-figure with a new red outfit that came with live miniature grenades for kids to "fling at the enemy". Once Mr. Soviet X hit the market in the US, children were already lined up at the secret locations. As predicted, kids in the 60's weren't just playing with grenades, Mr. Tang was militarizing young American children and subconsciously influencing them to pledge allegiance to communism. On April 20, 1965, a militia consisting of young American boys and girls rallied in Washington D.C equipped with Mr. Soviet X figurines with the intent of bombing the White House using the miniature grenades. Though the attack was unsuccessful, it left 29 civilians dead and 42 injured and proved to the world Mr. Tang could potentially be a threat to national security for any country. These rogue juveniles were excommunicated and sent to Scotland for unknown reasons.